Meflaquin Dreams

There are days I wake up and wonder what I’m doing here? I know nothing about the environment, nothing about nature. I traded my wonderfully numb life in Boston to live in a mud hut in Malawi. Those are the days I wake up thinking I’m in my apartment in Boston; the voices outside are those of Diana and Fang, or Jeff (who would usually never be up that early). But once my eyes adjust to the dim light that filters through the window, I realize how far I am. It’s a perturbing feeling, its realism shakes me a bit, that a mind can play such powerful tricks. Mostly, I worry if I will last the 2 years here.
They told us we would have many good days and many bad days. The peaks and troughs have decreased since I left Boston, but they have increased in frequency. Peace Corps seems like a great program, the ideal program for development, especially in the Environment sector, which provides a lot of freedom in projects.
It’s nice to be away from everything for a while, from the drama of friends, always managing expectations, competing in the rat race – all things that were swept out of my mind as I landed in Lilongwe. Things I would worry about, things I should worry about, like my finances, bills, staying in touch with people, networking, I no longer think about. I guess, partially, this security is due to the fact that PC is taking full responsibility of us. I hope my family is safe and healthy, that I talk to them soon, and that’s pretty much all. Oh and that I get letters. I do enjoy getting letters.
In fact, getting this journal was such a great joy, it smells of encouragement (and really good leather). Whenever I am down, it reminds me of why I’m here, and of friends back in the states. It’s been awfully busy here between adapting and learning the language, I haven’t had the time or energy to miss people from home. Just going with the flow…